Arguing with your partner? Done the right way it can be a skill for couples, say therapists

The Clooneys’ blissful marriage may be one thing, but for the rest of us, say experts, arguing need not be such a bad thing – so long as we’re doing it right. “Actually, arguing is a great skill for couples,” agrees Stefan Walters of the psychotherapy service Harley Therapy. Research has shown that over many years, “couples who do argue actually end up staying together much more than couples who don’t”, he says. When we get emotional, we think in black and white: we win or we lose, we’re right or wrong. “If things feel like they are really escalating, that’s a sign to pause the conversation that is no longer a conversation,” says Harrison.